When Ant McPartlin returns from two weeks paternity leave, he’ll be adjusting to life as a working dad. So what are the current rights for dads in the workplace, and what needs to change?
Research shows one in three dads are ‘not comfortable’ talking about childcare responsibilities at work. Writer Cat Hufton shares her thoughts on the UK’s current paternity leave rights and speaks to the man who is encouraging dads to be ‘loud and proud’ about their childcare responsibilities at work…
‘As I woke to the sound of the front door closing, I burst into tears. My tiny two-week-old baby lay next to me, finally sleeping after a hellish night where he cried for hours. I was in no way ready to be left alone.
But, as my husband’s employer only offered a week of unpaid paternity leave and one week extra of holiday, it was time for him to return to the office. Having the support of my husband for those first 14 days was wonderful, but it was also essential.
This, of course, is not an uncommon story. The UK has one of the least generous paternity leave rights in Europe with fathers legally allowed to take either one or two weeks’ leave.
Photo credit: Elliott Rae
Elliott Rae heads up the Parenting Out Loud campaign
‘Equal parenting is fundamental for a father’s wellbeing’
Campaigner and author Elliott Rae is working to change the conversation around dad’s childcare responsibilities at work with his new campaign, ‘Parenting Out Loud’.
Research found just 67% of men are confident talking to their employer about family-related issues (compared to 74% of women). Elliott wants this sharing of the childcare responsibilities to be normalised and accepted at work.
This, he explains, includes dads putting school pick-ups in the work calendar, and using their ‘out of office’ to talk about childcare responsibilities – if they’re off because their child is sick, for example.
‘Equal parenting is fundamental for a father’s wellbeing, happiness and, most importantly, outcomes for our children,’ says Elliott. ‘I launched the Parenting Out Loud campaign to really raise awareness of some of the challenges that working dads have in being loud and proud about their care and responsibilities at work.’
‘Ending the motherhood penalty’
While such a cultural change could mean huge improvements for thousands of families across the UK, the impact this could have specifically on women’s careers and the gender pay gap could also be positive.
Research from Sweden, for instance, suggests that for every additional month of paternity leave taken by fathers, it increases the mother’s lifetime earnings by 6.7%. This is even more significant when research shows that 80% of the gender pay gap is also attributed to the motherhood penalty.
Joeli Brearley, CEO and founder of Pregnant Then Screwed believes there needs to be a significant change in legislation and cultural narratives around whose responsibility it is to do the caring in a family. ‘We know that dads are desperate to spend more time with their children,’ she says.
‘The State of the World’s Father’s report found that 85% of dads said they would do anything to spend more time with their kids. It’s really important that we’re here to push that message and to show that caring is masculine and caring matters.’
Ant McPartlin is currently on paternity leave after the birth of son Wilder
How to ask for better paternal rights at work
1. Find a mentor
‘Asking for better parental rights is about meeting with people who can mentor you, seeing who you can learn from and who you can see in yourself and the way they work,’ says Elliott. ‘Really try to take inspiration from that. You can also join dad networks and really immerse yourself in what you are eligible for.’
2. Be brave (but comfortable!)
James Lees, Co-Lead of Microsoft UK Families Employee Resource group also advises being brave… but in a way that you’re comfortable with. ‘Do it on your terms. If you don’t feel comfortable straight away about asking for a half day, build up and work your way up to it,’ he says.
3. Know your worth
James adds, ‘Know your worth! I know that I’m good at what I do in my day job. I also know that being a dad and parenting as I do makes me better at what I do. Therefore, it means that I bring even more to our clients and to the organisation. It’s really important to find that right balance. Being a strong parent is part of the overall package of what you bring.’
4. Set the right example
For John Olaleye, Diversity and Inclusion lead at Leicester City Football club, Parenting Out Loud means setting an example – not just for himself but his entire family. ‘Our families aren’t exclusive from our work,’ he says. ‘If I’m not right at home, there’s no way I’m going to be able to bring my best when I come into work. What is really important is that I’m the example but I’m also bringing my best and the two marry together.’
What is Parenting Out Loud?
The campaign aims to help dads be transparent about their childcare responsibilities at work and to ‘parent loudly’. This could range from them asking for flexible working to fit in with childcare, through to taking the day off to help with a poorly child.
Elliott hopes the campaign will see increased paternity leave take-up and more men working flexibly and part-time to help with childcare.
Happier children, less stressed mums, and more engaged fathers – now who could argue with that?
For more information about the Parenting Out Loud campaign and how it can help your work life balance, click here.